I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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