Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
