i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
