if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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