Don't you send me to vm
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
