we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
