Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
