people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Everything about him screamed your future.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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