quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
