Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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