Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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