I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
