He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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