i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
