did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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