I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
tell me about the eggs
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
