i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
