I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
