Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
