R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
