well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
