Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
