i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
