as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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