why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
