Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
