Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
