Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
