Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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