I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
