i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
