Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
