Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
