Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
