what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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