I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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