if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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