This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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