Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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