Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
