my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
