OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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