There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
