I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
