Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
