dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
