Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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