I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
