so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
