are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
