He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
