She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
