Who did Billy Mays play for?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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